


Babysitting Duty

by grumby



Series: Into the Dad-Verse [3]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Epistolary, F/M, M/M, i can't stop myself writing epistolary fics someone help me, like not another one but it's in the same universe so, makes sense as a standalone fic, short but sickly sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:33:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29824305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grumby/pseuds/grumby
Summary: Taako and Kravitz babysit.Lup, (the letter says.) Does your baby like chilis? Or is she uncool? I guess Barold raised her for three years, so she probably doesn’t, right? No sweat, she’ll be slurping down ghost peppers for breakfast by the time you guys get back. Just call me babysitter supreme.
Relationships: Barry Bluejeans/Lup, Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Series: Into the Dad-Verse [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1969753
Comments: 37
Kudos: 93





	Babysitting Duty

(The “letter” is barely more than a scrap of paper. On the reverse, a shopping list is scrawled in nearly-illegible handwriting.) 

Lup does your baby like chilis? Or is she uncool? I guess Barold raised her for three years so she probably doesn’t right. no sweat she’ll be slurping down ghost peppers for breakfast by the time you guys get back. just call me babysitter supreme

-

(This letter is written on expensive paper with a stylistic raven letterhead, arriving in the same delivery as the previous.) 

Lup and Barry, 

Please disregard Taako’s letter. I stopped him putting chilis in Ellie’s lunch, and I’ve resolved not to leave them alone for a second. 

She seems to be doing just fine. She’s sleeping okay without you, and this morning we took her to Neverwinter aquarium and she loved it. Since then, she’s been building a statue of me in lego, and I’m almost scared to find out what she thinks I look like. 

It’s been some time since I dealt with a baby, and I thought we’d have to bottle-feed her still, but she called me an idiot when I tried that, so maybe I’m as much of a mess as Taako is. Maybe she _is_ meant to be having chilis, I’m not sure. I’m quickly skim-reading this parenting book you left us, but honestly Ellie’s infinitely smarter than either of us, so I’ll probably just trust her opinion. 

I hope your holiday is going well. Taako’s very upset you haven’t sent a postcard yet, and no amount of “they’ve only been gone ten hours”-ing would sway him, so if you could please send one just to give me some peace I’d be very grateful. 

I have to admit that when you asked us to babysit, I was pretty apprehensive, but Ellie is a delight. Are you sure we can’t keep her? 

Cordially, 

Kravitz. 

\- 

(A postcard, with a picturesque, overhead view of Bottlenose Cove. It says “wish you were here!” in a colourful font. On the rear, a message is scrawled in all capitals.) 

DON’T GIVE MY DAUGHTER CHILIS GOOFUS 

-

Kravitz, 

I’m glad to hear she’s okay. Tell her daddy misses her, will you? 

Talking of children, did Taako get Lup’s postcard? I had to physically restrain her so she didn’t teleport back and fight him when we received that first note, so I’m glad you let us know you’d stopped him. She still wanted to enchant the postcard to blow up in his hands, but I told her you might want it for a scrapbook. 

Honestly, I had no idea what I was doing when she was born. I mean, you met me, back then, so you know that already. But, yeah, she mostly knows what she’s doing. Don’t hesitate to call if you have any questions, though. And did I already say that she can’t have milk before bed? And only one piece of candy a day. ~~And don’t let her~~

… Okay, I know I’m something of a helicopter parent. I’ll leave you guys to it. Just don’t spoil her too bad, okay? She can’t be getting used to ice cream for dinner or she’ll never eat her vegetables again. I can imagine it now – _but uncle Kravitz didn’t make me eat my greens!_

Tell Ellie that we saw some cool fish while we were here! This big orange one swam right up to my leg! I’ve never seen anything like it. They’re so friendly. We’ll all have to come down here when everything calms down, a bit. We’ve been recognised by almost everyone we’ve met, so far. Downside of having your story beamed into everyone’s brains, I guess. 

Anyway, I’ll let you get back to it. 

Love, 

Barry. 

\- 

(Delivered to Lup and Barry’s house, where Taako and Kravitz have been staying to watch Ellie.) 

HOSPITAL BILLING STATEMENT: 

  * One round of antivenoms, 70GP 
  * Overnight stay in hospital, 200GP 
  * Attending cleric consultation, 130GP 



(Bills waived. Saviour of the universe discount.) 

-

K+T 

Did Barry tell you about the fish that swam up to him? Yeah, he’s allergic to it. How he survived enough cycles for us to get together, I’ll never know. The man is allergic to _literally everything._

Anyway, he’s fine now. His leg was so swollen it practically doubled in size, but they cast a few spells on him and he’s all good. Merle popped in to check up and I think all the doctors were pretty wowed, although I don’t have any idea why. Their first year med students have gotta be better healers than that old man. He snatched the flowers I bought Barry, too. Gross. 

Anyway. Please tell Ellie I miss her so much. It’s been nice to get away with Barry, but jeezy creezy I just wanna go home and cuddle her. I somehow even miss waking up with her sat on my head. It’s been really weird to get a lie in. 

Lup 

-

(Enclosed with this letter is a photo of Taako cooking macarons. He’s clearly put a lot of effort into looking good, with flawless blush and smoky eye and a spotless apron. In the background, Ellie is licking her sugary hands. She’s covered, head to toe, in flour.) 

Cha’boy and cha’gal doing some baking. She’s pretty good, honestly. Better than Barold, and he’s had a century to get a handle on it. 

Also, which of you geniuses taught Ellie Knock? I almost magic missiled her when I woke up and she was sat on my chest staring into my eyes. Thought she was some kinda haunted doll. I’m gonna come and sit on your chest in the night when I figure out which of you it was. You might miss it, but cha’boy definitely won’t. 

Tell Barry I didn’t teach him to swim just so he could die to a goldfish. Although, I’m not surprised. There was that one cycle that a strawberry got him, remember? Hope you’re gonna have the cod tonight in revenge. 

T 

\- 

(Delivered in the same delivery as the previous letter is a note.) 

Please don’t tell Taako it was me that taught Ellie Knock. He’s being very sarcastic about it and I’ve been agreeing, and I really don’t need him knowing it was me all along. 

Kravitz 

-

(Inside an envelope addressed to Taako is Kravitz’s note. There’s no context attached.) 

\- 

(Another note, this time without any identifying information except the envelope addressed to Lup and Barry. It’s written in Kravitz’s distinctive handwriting.) 

Judas. 

-

(The letter is written on Kravitz's expensive raven paper, but the handwriting is large and scrawled and in randomly coloured crayon.)

Mummy and daddy. uncle kravitz and uncle taco took me to the park and we saw a doggy. uncle magnus said his name was fish. hes silly. i said hes not a fish hes a DOG. he said i could name the next one and i said he should name it after uncle kravitz. i love you. when are you coming home? 

Ellie 

\- 

Dear Ellie, 

How are you, baby? I hope you’re doing good. Me and daddy have been having a very nice time! I’ll send you some pictures of us on the beach. Your daddy fell asleep and I buried him in sand and a crab pinched him! 

We’ll be home soon. Friday! You might even get this letter after we get back, because the people who deliver the mail are very slow sometimes. I really miss you, baby, I can’t wait to see you again. 

Uncle Magnus is very silly! He likes to name his doggies after other people, and Fischer was a jellyfish friend of ours! If you ask him very nicely he might let us take his doggies out for a walk one day. Would you like that? 

Be good for uncle Taako, okay? We both love you so much. 

Mommy 

(Underneath the signature, there is a row of about two dozen kisses. Included is a picture of Barry, incredibly sunburnt, looking sheepish as he signs an autograph for an excited-looking half-elf; another picture of Barry, shirtless, snoring in the sun; and a selfie of Lup grinning evilly. The next photos in the series are of Barry, buried up to his neck in sand, still unconscious, followed by an action shot of him erupting through the sand, a crab comically clinging to his rear and his mouth open in a yelp of shock. The last photo has been taken accidentally as he bats the camera from her hands, both of them laughing hysterically.) 

**Author's Note:**

> Listen. I reread dawn of the dad and this just came to me. I'm still absolutely addicted to this AU, as it turns out, and I have at least two more ideas I wanna write for it so I hope everyone else likes it as much as I do :3  
> Also I originally wrote this as a lil ficlet with the intention of posting to my Tumblr, but I didn't want yall missing out!! You should still follow me though at sgrumby ;)
> 
> Alternative title dawn of the uncles but that joke is becoming a little belaboured fkdjdgjsssfs


End file.
